


The conditions of love

by DapperNahrwhale



Category: Campaign 02: Escape from the Bloodkeep - Fandom, Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Campaign 02: Escape from the Bloodkeep, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:09:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29682375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DapperNahrwhale/pseuds/DapperNahrwhale
Summary: All love is conditional, everyone has their breaking point. Leiland's learned that the hard way his whole life. For his parents, it's that he was never enough. For his siblings, it's that he was too much. He's never been able to get the balance on love. He always stumbles and falls.
Kudos: 7





	The conditions of love

  
The conditions of love 

All love is conditional, everyone has their breaking point. Leiland's learned that the hard way his whole life. For his parents, it's that he was never enough. Never perfect enough, never quiet enough, never good enough compared to his other siblings.

For his, siblings it's that he was too much. Too needy, too annoying, too loud, too ruthless, too desperate for approval that he'd toss them under the bus with less than an afterthought. But then again they'd do the exact same to him. They were all a bit too much in that way. Too desperate for love that they'd rather turn to cruelty on one another than kindness for each other. 

For everyone else it's been that he's never been able to find the balance between being too much and not enough. It's just that he's too much or too little or too wrong or too right. He could never get the balance of it right, he'd always stumble and fall and fail. 

He always knew that if he messed up too much or did something wrong again, if he did anything he'd end up ruining what little approval he had. Everything that he did, he knew that inevitably he would become unlovable again. Unworthy of anything. Unessential. Unwanted. Undesired. But, he had to keep trying no matter what.

Even though he failed every time. Even though he would inevitably mess it up. Even though it would never matter.

No matter how devoted he was, no matter how loyal he was, no matter how many hundreds and hundreds of years he spent serving the souless, it didnt matter. It never would. 

He gave up his soul to the souless again and again and again and again. He keeps on putting him first, before himself at a desperate, inane attempt to earn a love that will never be given. It's always been like that for him though.  
The constant struggle of failing to gain a love that was never attainable. He tried and failed and tried and failed to get the love of those who cannot love. His family didn't love him, not because he was unlovable, but because they didn't have the capacity to. Not because he wasn't enough or too much, but because they couldn't love. 

The one thing he had learned over and over again in life, is that there is no such thing as unconditional love.

All love is conditional. The conditions are set by all parties involved, but sometimes it isn't though. Sometimes, you don't have a say in the conditions of love, and when that happens, it's not love. It's a heedless struggle of loving someone who can't. 

The conditions of love are that all parties involved work together and through it to love one another. Love is following the conditions set because you care about their boundaries. Love is letting others learn how to care because they never got the chance to before. Love is giving yourself a moment to breathe and rest and take a break because you know the ones you love have your back. Love is laughing loudly and unashamedly with others instead of at each other. Love is trying again and again for one another, not just for yourself. Love is to learn and change and be better and do better for each other. Love is working together instead of against each other. Love is conditional because you set the conditions together because you love one another, not because youre against each other.

He's never known that love can be so freely given and taken. Until now. 

**Author's Note:**

> Another from an ask on tumblr! Thx for reading, please leave a kudos or comment or whatever to let me know if you liked it, if you want to see more, if you dont want to see more, if you think I should stop talking right about now, ect. As always, constructive criticism is very much appreciated! Have a great day too!


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